Hazelnut goes Swimming!

This was a ton of fun.  She kinda crashed at the end but more because she was hungry and tired.  All the same it was really fun.  She has a better time after a few seconds of video.  She did laugh and play most of the time.  I think her only fear was the sweet, sweet, manly chest hair of her masculine father would attract all the other mommies.  

We Have Teeth

Two teeth have come in.  The bottom front have made their way to freedom.  It was a long week for Hazel and I am sure she is glad it is over, for now.  

She and I have been trying a few new things.  We have been going to the movies on Tuesdays at the Kennedy School for Mommy (and daddy) Matinee.  We want to start swim lessons soon at Mt Scott Pool and we have been cooking up a storm.  Hazel have been on a steady diet of breast milk and has been growing leaps and bounds.  She is over 16 lbs and I have been cooking and eating pies.  I now weigh more then I ever have in my life.  Swim lessons can't come soon enough.  

Lately she have been a bit fussy about being held by someone other then Melissa or myself.  That makes me feel kind of sad.  We have always been open for other people to hold her and want her to not be afraid of people.  I believe that kids that are raised for be fearful of all people don't learn the difference between good people and assholes. 

I have been using this example a lot lately but when people ask me "what's it like" I have been giving an answer that tends to surprise.  Before she was born I though that everything would fit inside a box.  The good on one side and the bad on the other.  What I have found is that the good things are so much better and far outside the box .  The bad things are there too.  I didn't think that the frustrating things would be so frustrating.  The interesting thing is that they have less to do with Hazel and more to do with me.  She is happy, she smiles.  She is hungary, she cries.  It is very simple.  It is me that makes it difficult during the difficult time.  During the great time she is fully responsible.   

My little peanut....

My Beautiful Girl..

I swear, watching this make me want to cry. What kind of wuss have I become? I was trying to think of what my life was like a few months ago. Not just my priorities but what I was doing. I can't remember. It is the strangest thing. I remember when I went skydiving two years ago. Whole chunk of my memory went missing. It was like I took HD video of the event and the file was so big it deleted other things because the skydive was so important. I can't remember the third grade but I know there was a house with a swimming pool next to the airfield. I lost the name of the girl I first kissed but I know Bobby was the guy I jumped with and he graduated with a finance degree from UO, worked for a brokerage firm and quit the day after he took his first jump because he found his calling.

I may not know what I did for a living a few months ago but I do now.

Miss South Carolina vs Hazel

One of those moments....

Last night my wife and I were laying down getting ready to sleep.  I had turned off most of the lights and Melissa was feeding Hazel before we put her in her bed.  As I pulled the covers up and settled into conversation with Melissa.  Hazel broke her concentration from feeding to turn her head to me.  As I looked down at her, she looked back at me and at that moment she raised a huge smile across her face.  She smiled at her daddy.    

Back with video too!

I finally have the router fixed and a lot to catch up.  We have had a great time over the last few weeks.  Here is what you have missed.

Back without video (for the time being)

I have had some trouble with my router lately and I am not able to get my upload speed above dial up.  If you are uploading video it makes me feel like what's the point.   That doesn't mean that I still can't add content.  

Lately Hazel has been going through some changes.  She is great all day but around 6-7 PM she starts into an episode where she can't be soothed.  From what I hear it is a natural occurrence.  It still is an unbelievable experience. 

Changes happen fast when you can count the weeks you have been alive on your fingers and toes.  She is "smiling with purpose" lately.  My brother said the day you walk into their room and the beam a smile as they see you it will change your life.  There is something to that.  

I am looking for things for her to do this summer.  I want to keep her stimulated and me entertained.  I don't necessarily think taking her to the movies will be the best to keep her stimulated.  I was also looking for a "Stay at home dad" group.  Not sure why.  I generally do things much different then most dudes and would be fearful of being thought I was some kind of bad father.  I am sure others have the same fears.

Last week I called my best friend in CO.  We talked about our children and what it took to be a parent.  More importantly we talked about the skills we have at being parents.  This made em think of how I became the person I am today.  To the best of my recollection there are 5 people who impacted my life in a positive way.  The list could have been longer and contained people who negatively changed my life but the 5 are certainly important to who I am today. 

More on that at a later date.

First day of school

Todays guest Blogger is Hazel:

I went to school yesterday and had a great time.  Auntie D invited me and my daddy to come and spent a few hours helping out with her class.  She was teaching about the Galapagos Islands and asked my daddy to bring some photos of the trip my mommy and daddy took a few years ago.  It was a lot of fun even though the morning was spent listening to my daddy blather on and on about the trip.  

We got to meet many new people and they all thought I was very cute.  The strange thing was that everyone knew my name and had seen my picture before.  Something tells me that Auntie D has been a proud aunt and shown my picture around a bit.  I am lucky to have an auntie like her.  It won't be long before I go to school for real.  I think it makes my daddy's hair (what's left) go grey.

    

I am growing lots lately.  Since I was 5 weeks early I was kinda small when I was born.  I was in the bottom 5% of the statistics for head, weight and height.  My last office visit I was nearly 50% across the board.  I am eating nearly non stop and starting to sleep longer at night.  I am getting about 4 or more hours at a time each night.  The downside is I want to eat non stop. 

Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor again to check my hips.  Since I was breech too I have a click in my hips that need to be checked out.  Nothing to worry about.  I am sure I'll be running around pretty soon.  That should make the rest of daddy's hair fall out.  

The meaning of life or the purpose of...

As she lays here and dreams in my arms I wonder what she is thinking.  My dreams are filled with my hopes and fears.  They represent a snapshot of my day, week month or year.  But she is here with only a few months of life to base her dreams and all is fine.  What could she dream?

She eats and she sleeps.  This is her goal in life for now.  This is what someone her age should be doing.  Growing up consumes all her energy. Nothing else.  It is a simple life at this point.  It gets a bit more complicated as she grows up.  

It concerns me that her dreams will change.  My goal is to make sure they change for the better.

New friends, sitting in the sun and my ugly buddy.

Daily change.

It seems that every day that goes by she changes just a bit more.  Today we had our check-up and she weighed a whopping 10 lbs 13 oz.  She has gone from the bottom of the statistical charts to nearly 50% across the board.  She has gone from very quiet to having quite a voice.  It appears she has a growth spurt going on and not much will make her feel all that good.  She wants to eat all the time but when you start to feed her she only eats a bit.  

It is easy to get frustrated but then you look down at her.  She is the most beautiful thing in my life and how could I get frustrated with her.  Even at her worst she is still wonderful.  

Today was bad because we had to get some vaccinations.  It is so hard to decide what shots to give them because all the hype over the connection of vaccines and autism and other things.  Even side effects of the shots are bad.  Why do they want you to get a Hep B shot?  Hep B is a sexually transmitted disease.  Why do they want you to get vaccinations for things they have cures for anyway.  It seems that preventive maintenance is far more profitable then actual medical care.  

Anyway we decided that she would get two shots.  I say we but I couldn't tell you what they were.  Either way neither was pleasant.  She cried the hardest she ever has.  It was very nerve wracking.   

What is up with this outfit? I look like I'm making a jail break from a pumpkin farm.

Feed Me Seymour!

Long Story Short

Okay.  Here I am today. If you have not paid attention to this point it would take too long for me to explain.  Long story short: Hazel was born 5 weeks early, everyone is happy and healthy, my company was purchased resulting in me being laid off and I now am a stay at home dad.  Who said change is tough?  

I have done many things in my life to earn a living but I have never done anything that has made such a difference in my life.  Right now my wife and I have decided that one of us should stay home a take care of our new daughter.  I have been on the job now for just over 10 days and I can't believe how much joy this brings me. 

It's a long road.  Enjoy what you can.