My Beautiful Girl..

I swear, watching this make me want to cry. What kind of wuss have I become? I was trying to think of what my life was like a few months ago. Not just my priorities but what I was doing. I can't remember. It is the strangest thing. I remember when I went skydiving two years ago. Whole chunk of my memory went missing. It was like I took HD video of the event and the file was so big it deleted other things because the skydive was so important. I can't remember the third grade but I know there was a house with a swimming pool next to the airfield. I lost the name of the girl I first kissed but I know Bobby was the guy I jumped with and he graduated with a finance degree from UO, worked for a brokerage firm and quit the day after he took his first jump because he found his calling.

I may not know what I did for a living a few months ago but I do now.

Miss South Carolina vs Hazel

One of those moments....

Last night my wife and I were laying down getting ready to sleep.  I had turned off most of the lights and Melissa was feeding Hazel before we put her in her bed.  As I pulled the covers up and settled into conversation with Melissa.  Hazel broke her concentration from feeding to turn her head to me.  As I looked down at her, she looked back at me and at that moment she raised a huge smile across her face.  She smiled at her daddy.    

Back with video too!

I finally have the router fixed and a lot to catch up.  We have had a great time over the last few weeks.  Here is what you have missed.

Back without video (for the time being)

I have had some trouble with my router lately and I am not able to get my upload speed above dial up.  If you are uploading video it makes me feel like what's the point.   That doesn't mean that I still can't add content.  

Lately Hazel has been going through some changes.  She is great all day but around 6-7 PM she starts into an episode where she can't be soothed.  From what I hear it is a natural occurrence.  It still is an unbelievable experience. 

Changes happen fast when you can count the weeks you have been alive on your fingers and toes.  She is "smiling with purpose" lately.  My brother said the day you walk into their room and the beam a smile as they see you it will change your life.  There is something to that.  

I am looking for things for her to do this summer.  I want to keep her stimulated and me entertained.  I don't necessarily think taking her to the movies will be the best to keep her stimulated.  I was also looking for a "Stay at home dad" group.  Not sure why.  I generally do things much different then most dudes and would be fearful of being thought I was some kind of bad father.  I am sure others have the same fears.

Last week I called my best friend in CO.  We talked about our children and what it took to be a parent.  More importantly we talked about the skills we have at being parents.  This made em think of how I became the person I am today.  To the best of my recollection there are 5 people who impacted my life in a positive way.  The list could have been longer and contained people who negatively changed my life but the 5 are certainly important to who I am today. 

More on that at a later date.

First day of school

Todays guest Blogger is Hazel:

I went to school yesterday and had a great time.  Auntie D invited me and my daddy to come and spent a few hours helping out with her class.  She was teaching about the Galapagos Islands and asked my daddy to bring some photos of the trip my mommy and daddy took a few years ago.  It was a lot of fun even though the morning was spent listening to my daddy blather on and on about the trip.  

We got to meet many new people and they all thought I was very cute.  The strange thing was that everyone knew my name and had seen my picture before.  Something tells me that Auntie D has been a proud aunt and shown my picture around a bit.  I am lucky to have an auntie like her.  It won't be long before I go to school for real.  I think it makes my daddy's hair (what's left) go grey.

    

I am growing lots lately.  Since I was 5 weeks early I was kinda small when I was born.  I was in the bottom 5% of the statistics for head, weight and height.  My last office visit I was nearly 50% across the board.  I am eating nearly non stop and starting to sleep longer at night.  I am getting about 4 or more hours at a time each night.  The downside is I want to eat non stop. 

Tomorrow I have to go to the doctor again to check my hips.  Since I was breech too I have a click in my hips that need to be checked out.  Nothing to worry about.  I am sure I'll be running around pretty soon.  That should make the rest of daddy's hair fall out.  

The meaning of life or the purpose of...

As she lays here and dreams in my arms I wonder what she is thinking.  My dreams are filled with my hopes and fears.  They represent a snapshot of my day, week month or year.  But she is here with only a few months of life to base her dreams and all is fine.  What could she dream?

She eats and she sleeps.  This is her goal in life for now.  This is what someone her age should be doing.  Growing up consumes all her energy. Nothing else.  It is a simple life at this point.  It gets a bit more complicated as she grows up.  

It concerns me that her dreams will change.  My goal is to make sure they change for the better.